Over the years, I’ve realized that I’ve started to become like my parents. Initially, like many others, I was probably in a bit of denial. This realization hit me in my late twenties when I became a stepparent. Over two years, my stepchildren went from visiting every other weekend to spending most of their time with us. I could hear echoes of my parents’ voices as I talked to the kids, using many of the exact phrases and parenting styles.

My husband wasn’t thrilled with my workaholic tendencies when I married and became part of a blended family. I loved my job, was doing well, and envisioned a great career. I was used to having a lot of discretionary time, so I didn’t immediately see it as a problem. Besides, my parents worked hard to provide for my sister and me. We had a nice childhood, spent summers boating, took family vacations, and went to college. My parents' hard work provided all of that. I had to learn to balance more.

They instilled many of the same values I live by with my family. All free time was spent together, and that holds true today. Even if we don’t always see each other, we talk regularly and try to get everyone together over the holidays. My stepdaughter has a young family, and we are fortunate to see them often. I hope the kids have learned that spending time as a family is significant.

My dad was rather weather-obsessed, partly because of his job. Even in retirement, he knew when we needed to pay attention to the weather no matter where we were. I've definitely inherited that trait. My coworkers know that I'm a “secret weather nerd,” and I likely know the five-day forecast, especially if snowstorms are predicted.

The similarities extend beyond work and commentary. Now in my forties and almost twenty years into my marriage, I see the similarities in the enjoyment of daily life. I enjoy gardening, bird watching, and enjoying more downtime. I would have gasped at all of that in my thirties. These are all hobbies that my parents have enjoyed for a long time.

When I think about it, our parents' impact on our lives is profound. We may have become more like our parents than we expected. This journey of realization can be both surprising and enlightening, offering a deeper understanding of ourselves and our family. By reflecting on these influences, we can choose which aspects to embrace, modify, or reject, ultimately shaping our unique identities while honoring the legacy of our parents.

Exploring Family History Through DNA Testing

What if you want to dive deeper into your family history? There are a lot of considerations, and it can be controversial in families. Family secrets are real. We know firsthand, as my husband was adopted. He was connected to his biological family via DNA tests. No one on either side of his family (besides the birth mother) knew he existed. We met some of his family and learned that some of his siblings share his sharp humor. Is that a coincidence? I’m not sure that we will ever know for sure.

In 2022, Baylor University surveyed over 23,000 people who used Genetic Relative Finder services from Direct-to-Consumer genetic testing companies. Most respondents (82%) learned the identity of at least one genetic relative. Separately, most respondents (61%) reported learning something new about themselves or their relatives, including potentially disruptive information such as discovering that a person they believed to be their biological parent is not or that they have a sibling they had not known about. On its own, this is enough to dissuade some people from taking a DNA test. (For the full article, visit The American Journal of Human Genetics).

Finding unknown family members through DNA testing is relatively common, especially when using services with large databases like AncestryDNA, 23andMe, MyHeritage, and FamilyTreeDNA. Companies like these now have large databases with millions of users, increasing the likelihood of finding genetic matches to family members you didn’t know existed.

Pros and Cons of DNA Testing

If you are considering a DNA test, there are many positive aspects and potential risks. Here are ten pros and cons of getting a DNA test from companies like Ancestry.com or 23andMe:

Pros:

1. Discover your ethnic background and ancestral origins, which can be enlightening and help you connect with your heritage.

2. Access potential health risks and carrier status for specific genetic conditions, enabling proactive healthcare decisions.

3. Find and connect with distant relatives and build a more comprehensive family tree.

4. Learn about genetic traits, such as lactose intolerance or eye color, which can be exciting and informative.

5. Gain insights into migration patterns and historical events that shaped your ancestors' lives.

6. Understand your genetic diversity and how it might impact your health and well-being.

7. Use genetic information to tailor medical treatments and preventive measures.

8. Receive advice on diet, exercise, and other lifestyle factors based on your genetic profile.

9. Gain knowledge about genetics and how it influences various aspects of life.

10. Make informed decisions about family planning and understanding genetic risks.

Cons:

1. Potential misuse of genetic data by third parties or unauthorized access to your personal information.

2. Unexpected or distressing information about health risks or ancestry can cause anxiety or stress.

3. Risks of data breaches and how securely companies handle and store genetic information.

4. Potential inaccuracies or limitations in the test results due to the complexity of genetic science.

5. Risk of genetic discrimination by insurance companies or employers, despite legal protections.

6. The tests can be expensive, and additional costs may arise for accessing certain features or updates.

7. Discovering unknown relatives or family secrets that could cause personal or familial conflicts.

8. Misunderstanding genetic health information without professional guidance can lead to incorrect conclusions.

9. Tests provide limited insight and cannot capture the full complexity of genetic influences on health and traits.

10. Ethical issues related to consent, the use of genetic data, and potential impacts on future generations.

Choosing the Right DNA Test

Choosing the best DNA test depends on your specific goals and preferences. Here are some of the most popular DNA tests, along with their strengths:

• AncestryDNA: Large database, detailed ancestry reports, and extensive historical records.

• 23andMe: Comprehensive health and trait reports, ancestry breakdown, and FDA-approved health reports.

• MyHeritage DNA: Competitive ethnicity estimates, family tree building, and historical records.

• FamilyTreeDNA: Specializes in Y-DNA and mtDNA tests for deeper lineage insights.

• Living DNA: Detailed regional ancestry, powerful for British and Irish heritage.

Other notable companies include National Geographic Geno 2.0, Dante Labs, Nebula Genomics, African Ancestry, Vitagene, CRIGenetics, Gene by Gene, Helix, and HomeDNA. Each offers unique features like genome sequencing, health reports, and specialized ancestry insights.

I recommend taking your time, deciding what type of test is best for you, and considering whether you are willing to find out both the good and potentially harmful results that could occur.

DNA testing offers many insights into ancestry, health, and familial connections. While the benefits are numerous, weighing the potential drawbacks, privacy concerns, and costs is essential. By choosing a reputable service and understanding their privacy policies, you can make informed decisions and enjoy the discoveries that DNA testing can bring.

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🔍 Explore Your Roots and Strengthen Family Connections! Understanding your family’s DNA can reveal hidden stories and deepen relationships. Share your thoughts in the comments—what surprising things have you uncovered through DNA testing?

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